If it were up to me, I’d wear a St Mirren shirt to basically every function I attend, despite repeatedly being told I’m “far too in my thirties for that kind of thing”. With the new season’s kits dropping any day now, let’s take a look at some of the highlights from throughout The Saints’ history.
I was going to do an accompanying Worst Kits list but A) I’m Not About That Negativity and B) We all know that list would consist of the 2014/15 yellow away kit 15 times, so…
Here we are, The Definitive Top 15 St Mirren Shirts of All Time
15. 2003/04 Home
You’ve gone slightly too “let him know you’re there” early doors. Bit keen. The fans loved it but now you have to play 88 minutes on a booking.
14. 1998/99 Goalkeeper
It’s summer 1999. An old boy on the bus tries to convince you he’s you from the future. Keeps saying something about not basing so much of your 2008 personality on liking Burial’s’ Untrue. You don’t know what that means so you ignore him and go back to your chips. Why’s he wearing goalie gloves?
13. 2000/01 Home
It has a collar on it, so you could, in theory, wear it to a fancy restaurant. The sponsor on the front was made of that material that felt like absolute hell though. The kind that immediately rid your mouth of all moisture when you touched it. Fancy restaurants put all fruit and that in the water, don’t they?
12. 2005/06 Away
“Its’s just red”, they’ll sneer. The cynics. Won’t they? They love a sneer, those cynics. Let them. I know what I’m about.
11. 1997/98 Home
It’s smashed into a 50/50 tackle and done its own ACL in the process. It’s stood right back up and is staring down all who question it. Can’t let on you’re hurt. Don’t lose face.
10. 2012/13 Third
The 135th Anniversary kit. Beautiful, isn’t it? The only time I remember us wearing it was in the 2012 Renfrewshire Cup win against Morton. Out, out, brief candle.
9. 1981-1984 Home
“Bit like last season’s Juventus kit, isn’t it?”, you say to your nephew. He scores against you on FIFA to make it 7-0 and calls you a word you have to look up on Urban Dictionary. Need to phone your sister later. Little prick.
8. 1987 Scottish Cup Final Home
Ian Ferguson lived round the corner from us when we were kids. He’d play football in the street with us sometimes. Your Scottish Cup winning, Flock of Seagulls looking legend could never…
7. 1996/97 Home
It’s walked into a pub, ordered a pint of “whatever’s cheapest, big man” and put The Shamen’s Ebeneezer Goode on the jukebox five times in a row. Hard not to respect that.
6. 2019/20 Women’s Home
In early 2020 a clip of St Mirren WFC captain Jane O’Toole punching her own dislocated knee back into place on the pitch went viral. That’s the kind of mentality a kit like this instils in a team. It’s just stripes, innit? Strong.
5. 1994/95 Home
The guy you meet on a stag do and immediately become best friends with. Who’s he with? Is he someone’s cousin? I think he’s maybe Gav’s mate from work? We can’t ask him now, it’s been eight pubs!
4. 1991/92 Away
The last mouthful of a cup of instant coffee. All granules and chaos. Energy for days.
3. 1999/00 Home
The best football season of your life vs. Tricky to pull off a v-neck. Real six-pointer.
2. 1993/94 Away
“Ideas are like fish. If you want to catch little fish, you can stay in the shallow water. But if you want to catch the big fish, you’ve got to go deeper. Deep down the fish are more powerful and more pure. They’re huge and abstract. And they’re very beautiful.” – David Lynch
1. 2012/13 Home
Semantic satiation is a psychological phenomenon in which repeating a word or phrase over and over causes it to lose all meaning, turning it into mere sounds. The image of Jim Goodwin and Steven Thompson holding aloft the 2013 League Cup was my phone background for so long I can’t see this as a football shirt anymore. Just pixels. Data. Weird note to end the list on, that. Best kit we’ve ever had though.
Andrew Christie 